Sasquatch piggy back tours

offered exclusively through wooden Mountain

 
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Heel Hook Harry, Loveland-based climber and friend of the Sasquatch

Heel Hook Harry, Loveland-based climber and friend of the Sasquatch

“traversing THE MOUNTAINS AT THE SPEED OF SASQUATCH IS BETTER THAN WALKING ON THE MOON. Euphoria wrapped in silent agility. THEIR GENTLE BREATHING is birdsong, ALL WHILE MOVING AT, WHAT I WOULD RECKON, 22-25 MILES PER HOUR… piggy BACKING ON MY FRIENDS.”

-Heel Hook Harry

 
 
Ranger Wainsworth, smiling with gratitude after his first piggy back tour

Ranger Wainsworth, smiling with gratitude after his first piggy back tour

“CLIMBING ASIDE, THIS IS TRULY AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY FOR FOLKS TO SEE THIS MAGNIFICENT LANDSCAPE FROM A VERY RARE PERSPECTIVE…”

-Roger Wainsworth, RMNP Ranger

 
 
One of our most cherished tour guides, Brenda, resting after a long day of backcountry piggy back tours through mystical boulder fields

One of our most cherished tour guides, Brenda, resting after a long day of backcountry piggy back tours through mystical boulder fields

“MY FAVORITE MOMENT IS WHEN I HEAR MY CLIENTS GASP AT THE CREST OF A HILL, AND THERE BEFORE US IS A MASSIVE HEARD OF ELK. IT’S AN HONOR TO BRING A BUNDLE OF HUMANS INTO THIS WONDROUS TERRAIN... hearing their sqeals of delight.”

-Brenda, Tour Guide (as translated by Heel Hook Harry)

 
 
 

a guided tour of secret and pristine bouldering spots.

accessible only by Sasquatch.


 

It is our joy to bring this climbing tourism program to Northern Colorado. What started out as a means to quickly traverse large swaths of land in search for new boulders deep in the backcountry, has transformed into a full fledged, multi-species business venture, hosted exclusively through Wooden Mountain.

A typical day in the park

A typical day in the park

A heard of elk, spotted from atop a pair of burly shoulders

A heard of elk, spotted from atop a pair of burly shoulders

book your tour

  • you can register online via the link below

  • Schedule your date and pickup location (must be adjacent to RMNP). Enter the number of people in your party (maximum of 5).

  • Pay fees ($30/per person). This fee covers the cost of an “I piggy backed the Sasquatch” t-shirt. The Sasquatch refuse compensation.

  • Show up at your scheduled location, bringing only a backpack.

  • Tilt your head back and bellow from your core. The Sasquatch guide(s) will quietly emerge*

    • *If they do not pick you up, there is no refund. It just means you were not sending off the right vibes. Nothing personal. Don’t worry, you still get your t-shirt.

  • Hop on and hang tight for the ride of a lifetime. Expect to be dropped off around dusk.

 
 
 

“George was an incredible guide and a super positive dude. My cheeks hurt from smiling. i will be back.”

-Stephanie Ziller (first time piggy backer)

 
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 a brief history

Over a decade ago, Heel Hook Harry (a Loveland local and avid climber) stumbled upon an injured Sasquatch after a long day of bouldering deep in the Colorado backcountry. After nursing it back to health, Harry led the Sasquatch back to it’s home in the woods, but in so doing, he became acquainted with the entire flock of kindred mammals, who quickly integrated Harry into their communal yolk.

Deep ties were formed between the bipeds. Harry visited often, and labored to learn their language. They shared meals, swapped stories, and cried tears of joy (and sadness) together. One day, upon discovering that Harry enjoyed climb rocking, the chief Sasquatch beckoned Harry to hop on his back (in true piggy back style) and scurried him across rivers and hillsides to a sacred valley filled with cottage sized boulders, composed of exquisite granite.

Of course Heel Hook Harry was enthralled with the secret garden bourgeoning with boulders, but the piggy back ride was otherworldly. Harry traveled the rocky mountains on the backs of Sasquatch for years, “logging 100’s hours” of Sasquatch piggy back sessions.

“At some point, you have to wonder, am I the only human who experiences this?”

With much deliberation, Harry approached the Sasquatch flock with a marketable idea. Grave concerns for the Sasquatch habitat, and protecting their species, were among his deepest considerations.

“One day, I just pulled Charles (the Chief Sasquatch) aside and expressed my thoughts to him. He pondered it with the rest of the flock, and seemed open to the idea. We hashed out the details, and figured out a sustainable method to make it work.”

The Sasquatch have refused any form of monetary compensation. They just want folks to believe in them. That is when Heel Hook came up with the “torso covering” idea. The torso coverings (t-shirts) act as evidence to debunk the doubts of their existence, worn by those who personally experienced a day in the mountains with the benevolent species. A great example of tourism as advocacy. As a result of this, all proceeds from the program directly finance the cost of printing the t-shirts, in an effort to make the species known. Thankfully, a strategic partnership with the National Park Service has also been established to help protect Sasquatch habitat.

“That’s when we knew the program was going to really stick… stick like a tick.”

Sasquatch Piggy Back Tours are here to stay.

 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

HOW DO I PREPARE?

Plan for a full day in the mountains. Your Sasquatch guide is highly adept at moving through the mountains, so you are going to cover lots of terrain. It is advised to wear pants and a long sleeve shirt to avoid chafing and getting bushwhacked.

Please, use paraben free sunscreen, and avoid deodorants/perfumes with artificial ingredients, as the chemicals can irritate the immune systems of the Sasquatch.

DO THE SASQUATCH BITE?

No. The only thing that bites on these tours is the fact that they have to end at some point.

DO I NEED TO BRING A BOULDERING PAD?

Sasquatch are excellent spotters. No pads are necessary.

ARE SASQUATCH CARNIVORES?

No, they are vegetarians.

ARE THE T-SHIRTS COOL?

They are called “torso coverings” people. And how “cool” is the alpine breeze trickling down your spine on a early fall morning? It seems nobody appreciates a good surprise... SPOILER ALERT: Heel Hook Harry + piggy backing + Sasquatch.

Avid climber, Nate Davison climbs through a crux with a Sasquatch as his trusty spotter.

Avid climber, Nate Davison climbs through a crux with a Sasquatch as his trusty spotter.